More Holinshed gems

1. ‘All this dissention and strife was kindled (no doubt) by the meanes of certeine sewers of discord, sycophants, parasits, flatteres, clawbacks, & pickethanks, who had learned their lesson, that Principibus placuisse viris non vltima laus est and thinking by their embossed spéech to tickle the eares and harts of the yoong princes, who by reason of their yoong yeares and nakednesse of experience in the course of worldlie maters, sought their owne aduancement, euen by flinging firie faggots of dissention betweene them, whose harts naturall affection had vnited.’ (p. 163)

[We weren’t starting actual civil war, or anything, but if my parents had used such creative imagery for the ‘fights’ between my sister and me, I probably would have *started even more of them*.]

2. ‘Some write, that the cheefest cause which mooued king Henrie to refuse to ioine his sonne earle Richard and the ladie Alice, daughter vnto the French king in marriage togither, was, for that he was linked in the cumbersome chaine of hot burning loue with the same ladie, and therefore he sought all the shifts of excuses & delaies that might be imagined; so that it appearead he had no mind to part with hir.’ (p. 196)

[That… doesn’t actually sound pleasant to me. And it also sounds impossible not to notice upon entering the same room.]

3. ‘As wel in this kings daies, as in the time of [Henry I’s] brother William Rufus, men forgetting their owne sex and state, transformed themselues into the habit and forme of women by suffering their haire to grow in length, the which they curled and trimmed verie curiouslie, after the maner of damosels and yong gentlewomen: insomuch that they made such account of their long bushing perukes, that those which would be taken for courtiers, contended with women who should haue the longest tresses, and such as wanted, sought to amend it with art, and by knitting wreathes about their heads of those their long and side locks for a brauerie.’ (p. 77-78)

[This actually continues for a while, to include Henry’s law requiring men to keep their hair short. But the gist, apparently, is this: no one has ever liked a hippie.]

 [[Thinking of demanding a hair cut, I can’t help but direct you to this piece of musical and cinematic genius, which is, of course, a continuation of this classic.]]

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